What comes to mind when you think or hear the words, “To have and to hold”? Loved, seen, chosen, secure, desired, stable, and so many other words come to mind for me. A yearning to be had and held is innate. I’m sure there are studies that have tested and confirmed this, but also, I’ll take a guess and say that none of us needs science to confirm this because we know it all too well.
Now, if we were made to be had and held, it only makes sense that there has to be something, or rather someone, who is to have and hold us. Who could that be? I’m sure some already have the answer, but we can also deduce it. The one who has and holds, so to speak, can't be a thing or an ideology. Why? Well, we all know how that turns out. Never enough because they fail to meet our souls' needs.
What about another person, though? Close, but still not it. It would've worked if that person didn’t need to be had and held too. I must say, the other person is often our downfall. We expect our parents, siblings, friends, significant others, mentors, etc., to have and hold us, to fill our void, to scratch that itch in our souls that we feel but can’t quite describe, let alone reach. To make us whole? Yeah, right! It’s preposterous; no human being can rise to that task because, the next person is just as broken, needy, and longing to be filled, had, and held, as you and I are. So, two broken people together lead to more brokenness, not wholeness. Unfortunately, we tend to disregard this truth. “Hurt people hurt people,” the saying goes, leading us to conclude that it’s not a mere person who is to have and hold us either.
And that leaves our Maker. He’s the only one who can have and hold us because He Himself is self-sufficient. He was, is, and is to come. He can have and hold us, all of us, without needing to be had and held. A.W. Tozer beautifully puts it this way:
“An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself so that each may have a part, but to each one, He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others.”
Isn’t this something? Perfect, gracious, unconditional love 24/7. A self-sufficient and loving God offers a Love that sees you, knows you, and stays even after it has seen through you. Does it sound too good to be true? You bet. Only, it is too good and true. Oh, and it’s available for all. Who has and holds you?
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