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Writer's pictureGrace I.

My mess unfolding



Whether I like it or not, 

Whether I acknowledge it or not, 

He knows best.


I often think I know what I want,

I know what will make me happy,

I know what will work out perfectly.

Haha! Perfectly.

Yeah, right.


God must laugh at me

When I think I know better,

Even better than Him, an all-knowing God

Who's not only in eternity past but also eternity future.

Thinking about it, I should laugh at myself too. 


Of course, it doesn't take me long

To realize that I don't know what I've gotten myself into.

In my head, it all seemed so easy.

But now that I'm here,

My mess completely unfolding,

I realize that I don't know the first thing about being god.


I thought I wanted this, though.

I thought I wanted to be in complete control,

To orchestrate my life when and how I want.

The way it benefits me the most, or so I thought.

But now, I'm realizing that the world, even my life,

It isn't quite all about me.


It's not a hopeless realization,

Because I know I matter; my life matters.

But it is a humbling realization.

One where I’m faced with the truth that

There is a God, and I’m not Him.


So, day by day, I am learning that 

Instead of fighting the truth,

Instead of playing god,

Or whatever I'm trying to be,

Maybe I should rest instead of rebel.

Maybe I should, you know, let God be God.


After all,

Whether I like it or not, 

Whether I acknowledge it or not, 

He is God, and He knows best.

And I want the best.

So, I'll train my heart to want everything He wants for me,

To want each one of my Father's good plans to give me a future and a hope.

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